Taylor

The wooden floor boards creaked beneath my bare feet, as I slowly made my way to the other side of the porch. I eased myself down onto the wicker chair and folded my tired hands in my lap. The lake seemed illuminated as the pink and violet rays meshed perfectly in the awakening sky. My golden hair drifted into my face, and I didn't bother to move it, instead I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm breeze that was soaring past. When I opened my eyes again, I stared intently at a group of wandering ducks cascading across the waters glossy surface.

"Here you are." Her voice startled me slightly. I turned a little in my chair too see her standing behind the screen door. Her long amber hair flowed freely down her back, stopping just above her curvaceous hips and her emerald eyes burned into me.

"Here I am." I smiled, beckoning her with my hand. The long white gown she wore fluttered in the wind, as she strolled towards me. She sat on my lap and tossed her long, smooth legs over the arm of the chair, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Tay?" she whispered, her breath felt hot against my neck. "Do you have to leave?" she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pressed her hand gently against my chest.

"We've been through this, you know I don't want to," I answered, kissing the top of her head. She let out a deep sigh and twisted a long piece of her curled hair between her nimble fingers.

"It's not fair." she whined.

"I know." I agreed, outstretching my legs and peering out at the rising sun.

"Why can't you just leave her? We can stay here, it can be like this forever." she bit her lower lip and stared at me, patiently awaiting my response. She knew what I was going to say, she had asked me this exact question countless times before and my answer never changed.

"You know that's not an option. How would it look, if I just up and left my wife? And you know those kids mean everything to me." My words came out a little too harsh, I was tired of going around in circles, she knew I would never leave Natalie, I made sure she understood that when we started this relationship.

“Who cares how it would look? I’m not asking you to leave the kids, they can come here, live with us.” she sat up, pushing herself against me before standing up. She rested her hands on her hips and glared at me, obviously irked by my lack of sympathy for her. I shook my head and smiled cynically, laughing silently to myself.

“Natalie would never let that fly, the kids are her life, besides I thought I had made it perfectly clear to you, I have no desire to get a divorce, ever.” I said, still smiling and lifting myself out of the chair.

“I see, so I mean absolutely nothing to you, this all is nothing more than sex.” she stated, tossing her hands in the air and scowling.

“Please, don’t be ridiculous, if sex was all I was after I’d resort to fucking my fans, I’m here right now aren’t I? Doesn’t that count for anything? Obviously, I love you.” I snapped, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“Not as much as you love HER.” she screamed, storming past me. She never referred to Natalie by name, she was always “her” or “she”. I collected my thoughts a moment, trying to remain calm and walked back into the house. She was seated at the kitchen table, biting her nails in her awkward way, which I had grown accustomed to. I reached for my shoes and slipped them on quickly, holding a hand to my head, to keep my hair out of my face.

“Listen…” I started, clearing my throat and walking a few steps closer. “Almalayne I don’t love her…I haven’t loved her for years, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. I won’t throw my family away, my career, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you.” I kissed her cheek and stumbled out the door, walking towards my car. I climbed in behind the wheel and glanced at myself in the rearview mirror. I hadn’t felt guilty about my affair in months, and I never felt any remorse for Natalie, the only guilt that I used to feel was because of my children, but eventually that had worn away. I pulled out of the gravel drive, and turned onto the long winding road, making my way back home.